Bittersweet

           Sunday, June 2nd

            I had to get up at 5:30 am yesterday morning to say goodbye to all of my George Fox team, who had become such an important family to me over the last 3 and a half weeks.  It was definitely a very bittersweet morning; both having to say goodbye and getting to stay behind.  I remember hitting this point in the trip last year and expressing alongside several of my teammates how deeply we desired to stay for just a few more weeks after getting to begin such amazing relationships with some of the locals.  Although I still strongly feel the call to remain and abide and am grateful for the opportunity, it still feels strange to step into ministry suddenly feeling alone and watching all of my team drive off as the sun rose.  

            Our time here with the team was nothing short of incredible.  We had split into three separate ministry teams and each team plugged in specifically with about 3 care points, which we got to visit each week.  At the care points we got to be involved in Bible lesson teaching, leading a few skits and games, but mostly just running around with and holding kids.  It is amazing to see the joy and ways that children are still able to prosper even amidst poverty.  The joy is a stark contrast as well to much of the disease, ratty clothing, and hunger many of the kids are experiencing.   Home visits are often overwhelming and heartbreaking as well. 

Our team had the opportunity to visit a couple of homesteads twice, including an elderly woman that I got to visit a couple of times last year.  She had had a really bad flesh wound on her ankle last year and this year it was good to see her in not as much pain, but really difficult to see that she had had to have her leg amputated.  I cant imagine living without a limb in the states, but here its got to be near impossible with homesteads spread miles apart and healthcare limited to none.  We got to interact with and encourage her each time we visited her and on the second visit we got to bring along a lot of food and supplies for her—something that the ministry partners through AIM do regularly for those in need in their community.  She and her father expressed such gratitude and joy in getting to sit with us and share a little bit about their lives with us.  Visiting people in their homes is a sign of deep respect and honor in Swazi culture.  We shared in prayer and scripture with them and definitely felt like an encouragement, but each time I found myself floored by their deep and abiding faith in the Lord and belief that He would provide.  Their home visit along with a few others kept me up late several nights pondering true faith, joy, and perseverance.   I guess its like in Romans 5:3-4  when Paul says “..But we also rejoice in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character; hope”, or like my missionary friend Erica shared:  “Sometimes we don’t realize how much we need Jesus until He is all we have.” 

There are so many other stories I could share as well; deep conversations Ive had, funny stories about trying to learn Siswati, working on beginning a new community garden with the ministry partner, Smanga. and how Chris and I used scraps of wood in the garden to build him a bench, and his constant laughter and always telling us “Uya Poppa”! (You are crazy!) J.  The story that sticks out to me the most from the last couple of weeks, though, is when Kimmee and I got to go with Mxolisi to take a pregnant lady, and an elderly woman recovering from a broken leg to Good Shepherd hospital, and a blind boy named Zola to a special needs school.  It was encouraging to see these resources available and some care provided, but also overwhelming in contrast to the tremendous needs in this country.  We had to wait nearly 5 hours on a crowded bench with others for the two Swazis to get in and see a doctor, despite getting there early.  Kimmee and I got to tour the hospital as we waited and noticed a sign saying that due to demand for the x-ray machine being nearly three times its capacity that it would be limited to only 30 uses a day.  I also got to stand with Zola and hold his hand for awhile as we waited.  I tried to talk with him a bit and found myself reflecting over his life and burdened by the heaviness of the needs of so many of these people.  The day weighed on me all the more because the hospital was one of the closest forms of healthcare and was nearly an hour and a half away from Nsoko, and I was informed that since I would be doing a lot of driving as an intern that it was likely that I might have to make a trip there throughout the summer.

I have been able to find so much space to journal, pray, and reflect over the course of this trip so far and I am so grateful for the personal time I have made for the Lord.  He has been my portion and strength, as He is for the people here, and has been constantly laying on my heart the theme that He is faithful.  Reflecting, journaling, and praying filled much of my day yesterday after arriving back in Nsoko with just Erica and moving into the intern home where I will spend the rest of the summer.  On Wednesday I will head out to Johannesburg with one of the local van drivers to pick up the rest of the interns.  Until then, I will be joining into daily ministry alongside the ministry partners and finding much space for conversation and solitude.  I am excited that I get to remain here.  I am excited for the opportunities for depth and commitment in relationships with the Swazis as I experience ministry without the support of my team.  I am excited to experience ministry here on a deeper level and to get to help work on and orchestrate several projects over the summer.  I am excited to interact with and help host the many church groups and short-term trips that will be coming here throughout the summer.  I am worried about being away from home and so many people I care about for so long.  I am worried about losing the support and encouragement of my George Fox teammates.  I am worried about being too concerned about my own comfort, concerns, or how “well” I appear to be doing in others eyes and missing out on how Christ might use me as His vessel.  Please be praying for all of these things for me and that I would be faithful to God’s call as I trust in His faithfulness.

In Christ’s love,

Andy