A Home Away From Home

                                                                                                                                  Thursday, June 20th

            I realized earlier this week that my time in Swaziland this summer is about halfway through.  Wow, where did the time go?  At the same time it feels like I have been here for so long and many aspects of the life and culture are beginning to feel like home to me.  I guess that is what happens when you invest in daily life alongside the locals and missionaries for over 6 weeks.  We said goodbye to the church team that we had hosted here in Nsoko on Wednesday.  They had only stayed here one week and, although their time was short, it was very full and rich.  None of them had been to Swaziland before as their church had just recently started to sponsor the care point, Mahangeni.  Sponsoring a care point means that the church supplies funds to provide a meal each weekday to all of the kids in the area (between 30-100 depending on the care point), as well as provides for other upkeep and needs, and commits to pray regularly for the area.  It also means that the church attempts to set up every kid at the care point with a personal sponsor from their church body (much like Compassion works).  Anyways, several of the members of this team were personally sponsoring kids at the care point and were excited to actually meet them and get to know those whom they had been praying and providing school fees for.  Their church had committed to trying to send a short-term to Nsoko each summer in order to form relationships and build a long-term partnership with the area.

            As I prepared with my own team to serve and prepared for my internship time I had many conversations and had done a lot of reading on short-term missions and how they often are not done in a very sustainable or supportive way for deep-rooted or long-term impact.  In contrast, it was really encouraging this last week to see how well the ministry here incorporates the energy, time, and resources of short-term teams coming through to fuel and provide for the long-term ministry and discipleship.  While the team was here we got to help them build the kids at Mahangeni two brand new swing sets, plant 10 trees at the care point, and throw the entire community a carnival day and a feast as a celebration.  I watched as the team supplied each and every homestead in the area with a Bible in Siswati and got to participate in many home visits alongside the team to those they were supporting.  Cross-cultural partnership is difficult, but it is incredible to see some of the tangible ways that we as the church can serve as Jesus’ hands and feet.  During the carnival well over a hundred kids showed up.  We had game and craft stations, skits, singing, Bible lessons, and even an inflatable bounce castle.  I got to help run the bounce castle for over 3 hours and needless to say it was the premier attraction.  Kids were trying to do backflips, leap down the slide, or sneak onto it in any possible way and it took every bit of my energy and focus to try to organize it and make sure no more than 4 or 5 were jumping at a time.  I still must have had at least half as much fun as they all did, though, and I learned several new phrases in SiSwati as I had to know how to say: “Times up!”, “Get Off!”, “Jump!”, “Wait!”, and “Go In!”.  Complete. Chaos.  J

            On a more serious note, there were a few occasions from this past week when I came to face to face with some of the overwhelming heaviness and needs in the area.  In many ways the church body is growing and thriving in Nsoko; the community looks out for each others needs, gather & visit each other in their homes to encourage and pray for each other, and love gathering together on Sundays or at revivals for loud and upbeat worship.  However, as my friends Erica and Mxolisi have talked a lot about, there are a lot of deep and dark spiritual strongholds in the area and spiritual warfare is very real (Its very real in the states too, but in some ways it takes a much more physical and up-front face here).  Ancestor worship and witchcraft is practiced in areas and, in some cult groups, is incorporated along with Christian teachings.  As such spiritual oppression, dark arts & activities, and even demon-possession are not uncommon to the area.  Definitely heavy things that are not only worth praying over, but demand are very focus and effort in combatting through the love of Christ and prayer.  I was reminded this last week, in a very profound and real way, that where 2 or more are gathered in His name there His presence is also, and that no spiritual power of darkness can have any authority or presence where God’s glory and presence abides. 

            I also faced burden and heaviness upon getting to drive, along with my friend Smanga, a couple of kokos and teenage boy to a hospital an hour away.  Encountering first hand some of the sickness that I know is so common here along with waiting for the long hospital processes again reminded me starkly of the developing world culture I am living in.  As Smanga and I waited for the others we had plenty of time to chat and just hang out together.  Smanga is the handy man around the Anchor Center and care points and is probably the ministry partner that I am closet with.  I am really grateful for his friendship, his teasing, and for his constant laughter and joy.  He is always smiling and teasing people about something and reminds me every day that I am crazy.  His favorite phrases all begin with “Your crazy (bench, clothes, music, feel in the blank”, or “Eesh man, it’s because you are crazy.” Haha, he is always working hard and bouncing around and has been teasing me this last week that I need to teach him to dance.  I keep bringing it up and telling him, “Today’s the day Smanga!”  To which he always repsonds: “Nooooo, maybe tomorrow, or maybe not.”  Haha, anyways I had the opportunity to hear a lot more of his story when we were at the hospital and we talked a lot about some of the incredible cultural differences between America and Swaziland.  I was struck by how starkly different the worlds are that we born into and by getting to hear his personal stories of the hardships and poverty that he and his family faced and still face.

            Smanga told me that the Swazi people really feel honored when I try to speak their language, even when I fail miserably, and that he is impressed by my effort and how much I have learned.  In fact he told me the other day that I am becoming a Swazi now and he and another ministry partner, Nelly, introduced me on a home visit as their “Swazi friend” after I greeted the locals with a few different Siswati phrases.  J  All that said, I am rejoicing in the fact that I still have nearly 5 weeks left here in Swaziland and have found myself so energized and renewed each day to invest deeper in life, ministry, and relationships.  The Lord has blessed me this last week with several deep and rich conversations with people here and I have continued to find my strength in Him as I place all of my hope and treasure in Him; For where my treasure is, there will my heart be also.  Please be praying that I am faithful and that I continue to abide in hope.  Pray for the all of the intense needs here and the daily struggles the locals face.  Pray for health and strength for us interns and the missionaries and ministry partners as we prepare to host another team this next week. 

“I lift my eyes unto the mountains.  Where does my help come from?  My help comes from you, LORD; the maker of Heaven and Earth.”  --Psalm 121:1-2

O Ye Of Little Faith

                                                                                                                                                 Saturday, June 8th

The interns have arrived! They have been such a blast of fresh air in my sails as I picked them up from Johannesburg and we have transitioned into our intern home.  We dive into full ministry as an intern team tomorrow and have spent the last couple of days getting to know each other (minus Bri, and Ameena and I.  We go waayyy back! J) and orientating the new interns to life and culture here and preparing for our time as interns.  In one week the first of several short term teams will arrive and we get to step up as hosts and leaders as we share in ministry and draw teams in and out of the ongoing service and community.  Three of the interns will head to the city of Manzini with the missionaries Matt and Erica to work with a team at the more established care points there.  The other three of us: Ameena, Jessy Prado, and myself, will stay in Nsoko with Erica and the ministry partners and work with a team here.  Through the rest of the internship I will pick up the responsibilities of being one of the primary drivers of teams, keeping the community gardens irrigated, and helping manage finances.  In these next couple of weeks I will get to work with Smanga a lot more on small projects as well as finishing up the work we started on creating a new seedling community garden area—we have to finish putting up a shade cloth roof and tilling the ground for planting.  I am excited to settle into a rhythm these next several weeks and to invest deeply in life alongside my intern team and the friends I am developing here in Swaziland. 

This last week was tiring and tense at times as I transitioned without my team and prepared to meet the interns.  I had a lot of personal solo time, and although it was overwhelming at times, I found it really good to be largely alone for a few days and to have space to just reflect and pray.  On Monday and Tuesday I got to participate in ministry at the care points and home visits with just Erica and the ministry partners.  Being one of the only Americans made me really miss my George Fox team but it was also kind of cool to see life and ministry go on here.  I got to visit an older koko (means grandmother, but all the older women are called kokos, pronounced gogo) alongside the ministry partner Sanele on Monday.  She was over a hundred of years old and many of my George Fox teammates had gotten to visit her in the last few weeks.  She had a reputation for being quite the feisty talker and storyteller but had been sick the last few weeks and it had been hard for my team to see her worn out and weary.  Although, in demonstration of her feisty independence, earlier in May she had been feeling a little better and our team was shocked when we saw her walking all by herself to the little health clinic by our team house.  Erica and Mxolisi informed us that she had a reputation for getting up early and trying to walk the mile or so to the clinic before they could drive over to pick her up because she didn’t trust the cars.  She has been around longer than they have!  Anyways I got to visit her for the first time with Sanele on Monday and it was difficult to see that she wasn’t doing any better at all.  She had been sleeping on a mat outside all day and was worn out, with barely the strength to talk or even lift her head.  We sat with her for a bit and then Sanele asked me to pray for her and her healing.  I found myself thinking: “What do I even say?  What do I ask for her?  Do I pray for complete healing and strength for a woman who is over hundred?”  I found myself praying for the Lord to be her strength and to sustain her and protect her even amidst life ailments and struggles and that he would ease and heal her from her sickness and pain if it was His will.  We left and I found myself discouraged and worn thinking that was probably one of the last home visits to this weary and frail old koko. 

The next day I finished ministry with Erica and Mxolisi and we had some extra time so they decided to go back and visit this older koko who was a very good friend to both of them.  Erica not only referred to her as koko but also affectionately called her her own grandmother.  She had talked to me a few days ago about how it was hard to be away from all of her family in the states but how faithful the Lord and Swazis had been to her in providing her with an incredible and large Swazi community family.  We returned to her homestead to find her not only awake and up but energetic and healthy.  She was moving around and eating and talking excitedly and thanking us for visiting her again and complaining that she had not been able to see her family (Erica & Mxolisi) yesterday with Sanele and I.  We ended up sitting with her for almost and hour and half, which was filled almost entirely with her chatting and stories about feeling better, and some of the pain she still felt, and the lives of her large extended family who all lived at the same homestead.  We laughed and listened and joined into conversation with her-largely through Mxolisi as an interpreter.   I found myself so encouraged and blessed as we rejoiced with her and visited her.  Erica expressed to her how thankful we were that she was feeling better.  Even as she expressed how she was willing and to an extent even wanting to go and be with the Lord, Erica told her that maybe the Lord is restoring her because He still has plans for her here; He still has plans to use her to love on and invest in her family and point them closer to Himself.  Mxolisi asked me to pray with her again as we left.  In Swazi culture it is common for many people to pray at once and so I found myself praying alongside her as we thanked God for His blessings each day and for His faithfulness and guidance in our lives.  I found myself amazed by her faith and the life she is living and thinking over and over:  “O Ye of little faith, why did you doubt?”  Why did I doubt the Lord’s ability to use her, to heal her, to continue to bless her and be a blessing to her?

That story has remained present in the forefront of my mind throughout this week as I sat in the melancholy spirit of transition and doubt as to why I am still here and my George Fox team is back home.  As I wrestled with why God still had me here, what the rest of my time here will look like, and reflected back over how He has called me here I ultimately found myself last night at a place of incredible peace and rest.  God has called me here; I journaled for five pages last night on the reasons why.  God is working powerfully here; I see His blessings and faithfulness each day anew.  God has dreams and ambitions and plans to use me and to work through me as His servant through my time here in Swaziland and abroad; I trust Him. 

Looking back over the last several weeks and thinking over these stories and this transition I recall the sermon preached in our Swazi church a few weeks ago when pastor Bheki preached about Peter and the disciples in the boat during a crazy storm and seeing Jesus suddenly coming towards them walking on the water.  Pastor Bheki preached over the whole passage and more (Swazi church isn’t time oriented and often goes 3 hours long)  but over and over he kept returning to how when Peter was called out of the boat he started to sink because He took His eyes off of Jesus.  He preached adamantly to the church body the profound need we have to keep our eyes on Jesus through all of our lives and everything we do.  The moment we begin to look away; the moment we are distracted by the demands and pressures of our daily life we begin to sink if we are not founded upon and looking to Jesus.  I have found that message to be so important in my life during my time here and especially in this last transition week.  As I have gotten distracted; As my heart has been pulled in different directions, and as I have heard many voices calling out: ‘this is the way, walk in it!’ I have found myself sinking and fading when my trust, hope, and vision have not been centered upon Christ.  But as I have made space to seek Him, and as I have lifted my gaze towards Heaven and asked for His strength and renewal I have found nothing but abiding joy and faithfulness.

So why do I doubt?  Why do I continue to look at all the voices of the winds and waves?  Why do I hear the voices of all those calling to me from the boat when I see Jesus clearing in front of me and He has called out: “It is I.  Step out of the boat.”   Lord I believe; help my unbelief.

Bittersweet

           Sunday, June 2nd

            I had to get up at 5:30 am yesterday morning to say goodbye to all of my George Fox team, who had become such an important family to me over the last 3 and a half weeks.  It was definitely a very bittersweet morning; both having to say goodbye and getting to stay behind.  I remember hitting this point in the trip last year and expressing alongside several of my teammates how deeply we desired to stay for just a few more weeks after getting to begin such amazing relationships with some of the locals.  Although I still strongly feel the call to remain and abide and am grateful for the opportunity, it still feels strange to step into ministry suddenly feeling alone and watching all of my team drive off as the sun rose.  

            Our time here with the team was nothing short of incredible.  We had split into three separate ministry teams and each team plugged in specifically with about 3 care points, which we got to visit each week.  At the care points we got to be involved in Bible lesson teaching, leading a few skits and games, but mostly just running around with and holding kids.  It is amazing to see the joy and ways that children are still able to prosper even amidst poverty.  The joy is a stark contrast as well to much of the disease, ratty clothing, and hunger many of the kids are experiencing.   Home visits are often overwhelming and heartbreaking as well. 

Our team had the opportunity to visit a couple of homesteads twice, including an elderly woman that I got to visit a couple of times last year.  She had had a really bad flesh wound on her ankle last year and this year it was good to see her in not as much pain, but really difficult to see that she had had to have her leg amputated.  I cant imagine living without a limb in the states, but here its got to be near impossible with homesteads spread miles apart and healthcare limited to none.  We got to interact with and encourage her each time we visited her and on the second visit we got to bring along a lot of food and supplies for her—something that the ministry partners through AIM do regularly for those in need in their community.  She and her father expressed such gratitude and joy in getting to sit with us and share a little bit about their lives with us.  Visiting people in their homes is a sign of deep respect and honor in Swazi culture.  We shared in prayer and scripture with them and definitely felt like an encouragement, but each time I found myself floored by their deep and abiding faith in the Lord and belief that He would provide.  Their home visit along with a few others kept me up late several nights pondering true faith, joy, and perseverance.   I guess its like in Romans 5:3-4  when Paul says “..But we also rejoice in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character; hope”, or like my missionary friend Erica shared:  “Sometimes we don’t realize how much we need Jesus until He is all we have.” 

There are so many other stories I could share as well; deep conversations Ive had, funny stories about trying to learn Siswati, working on beginning a new community garden with the ministry partner, Smanga. and how Chris and I used scraps of wood in the garden to build him a bench, and his constant laughter and always telling us “Uya Poppa”! (You are crazy!) J.  The story that sticks out to me the most from the last couple of weeks, though, is when Kimmee and I got to go with Mxolisi to take a pregnant lady, and an elderly woman recovering from a broken leg to Good Shepherd hospital, and a blind boy named Zola to a special needs school.  It was encouraging to see these resources available and some care provided, but also overwhelming in contrast to the tremendous needs in this country.  We had to wait nearly 5 hours on a crowded bench with others for the two Swazis to get in and see a doctor, despite getting there early.  Kimmee and I got to tour the hospital as we waited and noticed a sign saying that due to demand for the x-ray machine being nearly three times its capacity that it would be limited to only 30 uses a day.  I also got to stand with Zola and hold his hand for awhile as we waited.  I tried to talk with him a bit and found myself reflecting over his life and burdened by the heaviness of the needs of so many of these people.  The day weighed on me all the more because the hospital was one of the closest forms of healthcare and was nearly an hour and a half away from Nsoko, and I was informed that since I would be doing a lot of driving as an intern that it was likely that I might have to make a trip there throughout the summer.

I have been able to find so much space to journal, pray, and reflect over the course of this trip so far and I am so grateful for the personal time I have made for the Lord.  He has been my portion and strength, as He is for the people here, and has been constantly laying on my heart the theme that He is faithful.  Reflecting, journaling, and praying filled much of my day yesterday after arriving back in Nsoko with just Erica and moving into the intern home where I will spend the rest of the summer.  On Wednesday I will head out to Johannesburg with one of the local van drivers to pick up the rest of the interns.  Until then, I will be joining into daily ministry alongside the ministry partners and finding much space for conversation and solitude.  I am excited that I get to remain here.  I am excited for the opportunities for depth and commitment in relationships with the Swazis as I experience ministry without the support of my team.  I am excited to experience ministry here on a deeper level and to get to help work on and orchestrate several projects over the summer.  I am excited to interact with and help host the many church groups and short-term trips that will be coming here throughout the summer.  I am worried about being away from home and so many people I care about for so long.  I am worried about losing the support and encouragement of my George Fox teammates.  I am worried about being too concerned about my own comfort, concerns, or how “well” I appear to be doing in others eyes and missing out on how Christ might use me as His vessel.  Please be praying for all of these things for me and that I would be faithful to God’s call as I trust in His faithfulness.

In Christ’s love,

Andy

Returning

Saturday, May 25th

Its been just over 2 weeks that we’ve been back in Swaziland and I only have 1 week left with the rest of the team.  Im going to miss them a lot and it is going to be a really tough 4 days when they leave on the 1^st until the intern team gets here on the 5^th.   But I am so excited that my time here is not winding down and that, in fact, I will be able to be much more involved throughout the next two months.  

It has been sooo good to return to life and ministry here so soon.  At times it has been hard and it is easier to fall into complacency when facing desperation and heartbreak the 2^nd time around.  But I really love this country and the people here and it is amazing to see redemption at work and the immense trust that local believers with so little place in God’s faithfulness.  I have been blown away again by encounters I have had with locals suffering from mental disease, Aids, Cancer, missing limbs, without electricity, clean water, or enough shelter for the numerous family members living together…the list goes on and on and many of these issues compound leading to very desperate situations….and yet consistently the overwhelming response we receive from those who are believers is incredible gratitude and trust in God and adamant belief that He will provide for them and has a plan.  We will be on home visits and right when I am feeling overwhelmed with no idea how to encourage or offer any hope the simplest prayer, psalm, or piece of scripture will touch a heart and we suddenly get a glimpse of the incredible passion and faith of those we came to serve.  I had the sudden opportunity to share my testimony while on a home visit with some non-believers and Im not sure what seeds were planted but it was a pretty powerful moment.   The gospel truly does come alive when we find ourselves living with and encountering the least of these and sharing with our brothers and sisters in faith like Jesus taught. 

It will be hard to be away for so long, but I have such high hopes and excitement for what the rest of my time here might mean.  I have gotten to reconnect with so many people already and it has been incredible to see how meaningful it has been to the ministry partners and several of the friends I made last year that I have been able to return so soon.  These people are so used to short-term teams coming in and out that when they get to reconnect with familiar faces it obviously means the world to them that people made the effort to return and invest.  When people remember me and get excited that I am back I love getting to share with them that I will be here for a few more months and cant wait to get to know them more.  The ministry partners have already been pulling me in more and started calling me “Handy Andy”.  I have gotten to connect a lot more with Mxolisi and Sanele, two of the ministry partners from last year, and an 18 year-old boy named Muzi I got to know last year as well.  I hope all of those relationships turn into close friendships throughout the rest of the summer.  They are all incredible people and I am deeply encouraged by each of their faith.

Please be praying consistently for me and asking God that I would have a continuous heart of humility, passion, and service to reach out to the Swazi people here and the many teams I will have the opportunity to interact with throughout the summer.  God has overwhelming been laying the theme on my heart that He is faithful.  Please be praying that I continue to recognize and hold to that throughout my time here.  Pray against sickness on our team as a few students and our team leader Ben each came down with a stomach cramp flu for a few days—most of them have recovered by now, but please pray against any further sickness.  Also please be praying for the desperate situations that many of the locals here are living in—that God would show Himself to be faithful to these people and that He would make His presence and glory known in miraculous and redemptive ways.

In Christ,

Andy